Joke 03-01-11

One young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. 

But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, 

"I hope, doctor, you don't mind Billy being in there." 

"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons." 

Joke 02-01-11

Bus station is where a bus stops. 

Train station is where a train stops. 

But on my desk, I have a work station... :)

Joke 01-01-11

Telegram received from an ex-employee

"Fu.k you. I quit. Strong message to follow."

Joke 30-12-10

A man put some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and was going back to his car, parked on the cemetery side road. 

His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, "Why did you die? Why did you die?" 

The first man went to him and said,
"Dear, I don't want to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of hurt and pain is more than I've ever seen before. 

For whom do you feel such grief? Your Child? A parent? Who, may I ask, lies in that grave?"

The mourner answered, "My wife's first husband! ... Why did you die? Why did you die?"

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Joke 28-12-10

2 old retired race horses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first race horse said to other


"You know.... when I was a really young ...from one hundred starts, I won 90 races, got 5 second positions and 5 third positions. I am without doubt the greatest race horse that ever lived and then blah blah blah..."

In response to this and about a half an hour later the second race horse said


"Oh yeah...when I was a really young...from one hundred starts, I won 95 races, got 2 second positions and 3 third positions. I am the greatest race horse that ever lived....also blah blah blah..."

Now it was about this time that the bartender (who was a greyhound) decided that they were drunk enough so he said


"I am sick of you two telling one another how great you are, you are both so drunk and I am throwing you out of the bar, but before I do I want to let you know that when I was a really young greyhound, from one hundred starts, I won 100 races, no seconds and no thirds."

The two race horses were shocked and for 5 minutes they sat with their funny mouths open until the fist race horse finally said,


"Ohh isn't that amazing... a talking greyhound!"



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Joke 27-12-10

Men are just like a pack of Cards...

Heart to love them
Diamond to marry them
Club to smack them
Spade to bury the body

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